Summer Dreams (Part 2)

....So the Birthday celebration continued, and to continue the trend on focussing on myself, I decided to have, for the first time, a birthday party just for us..
The Family..
I didn't want the stress of overly cleaning..
The anxiety of making sure all the delicacies are presented perfectly...
The fear that people aren't enjoying themselves or if one of the kids poop to be fearful of the embarrassment of the smell..
Brandon having a tantrum because of the presence of too many people or him in isolation from the chaos..
I wanted to Dance Dance Dance... (Why don't people dance at parties here?)
I just wanted to have fun, fun, fun...


This year Father's day fell on my birthday, so it was like Christmas morning.. I had purchased a couple toys and supplies for the kids to keep them preoccupied during the Summer which we also wrapped. My first two sons have always loved the thrill of a birthday party... Dylan always believes he is going to get a "Surprise" as he calls it which are DVD's.. and Brandon is thrilled with confetti, streamers and balloons.... Logan is happy with cake... and Trevor, well he is my biggest kid.. he is just happy that there is a FOODDDDD!!!!! hahahaha.. Poor guy...
.. I didn't want much for my Birthday this year as I had to wait another 2 weeks for my most important Birthday Gift ( Upcoming post).... I wanted it to be whimsical, colorful and just all round Happy... How do you think it ended up.. You be the judge..

Summer Dreams...

                               Hello There Strangers!!!

How long has it been? Pretty much feels like an eternity.. I never predicted Summer would have come and gone and I would have created perhaps 2 or so posts.. It's times like these that we truly find the humor in the saying "When we Plan..God laughs".. This was an EYE OPENING 3 months for me... My mom was here for the entire duration.. MY plan or should I say hope was that she could perhaps watch the kids while I get many things I have been dying to accomplish done, but this life of mine is not for the faint of heart... My mom has been suffering from Macular Degeneration for the past 10 years which is rapidly deteriorating but she has sight in one eye right now which is what she is holding on to. Pretty sad for a woman who has always been so active and creative all her life.. but I will speak of my mom in a separate post in the near future..

The beginning of the Summer was rough. It began abruptly for the first two boys and they were not at all happy being at home.. No matter what I tried to engage them in, they were always bored ( sounds familiar?)...Until my Birthday...

This year I turned the big 3-5 and for almost a year I thought that I would have this swanky cocktail party at a lovely restaurant.. but as the time quickly approached, I realized that I wasn't quite prepared, so last minute, Trevor and I decided to go out to dinner, we would have reserved a couple seats for friends and it would be simple and intimate.. Well, everyone I called told me they couldn't make it which was actually a shocker considering I have always had parties and people had always come.. and whether it be me and/or Trevor always try to show up when invited.. Was this a joke? Was there a surprise brewing? Perhaps when I showed up they would be there... Well, my mom was able to hold on for dear life and watch the kids for a couple of hours while my husband and I prepared to go out to what was supposed to be my "adult" celebration.. During the car ride, I uttered to him "Is there going to be anyone?" he said "No baby, I am so sorry.. but I have a surprise for you, I got you the license plate you always dreamed of having for a community where you lived"....My heart dropped and it was at that moment... at THAT particular moment, I realized that this Summer, I was going to focus and invest my time once and for all on the two most important relationships in my life.. My relationship with Myself and My Husband and that's where the adventure began.. Here is part ONE of my "Birthday Gratitude Celebration".. at Brio..

Boo!!!!....and boo-hoo!!!

.....I have spent the last few hours in the bathroom, it can't be food poisoning... ate the scraps from the kids' plates yesterday and everything was fresh.. Perhaps it could be nerves and anxiety. It's day three of the kids being home and I haven't even gotten a chance to recharge my brain cells long enough to give the experience a grade..
I am curled up under my white strawberry stained down comforter that Logan decided bring his plate of strawberries on while I waited on him to finish eat..... ummmm... during which the sleep monster paid me an unexpected visit... "dropsee" ..... Logan decided to slap the crap out of me, and when I flew up out of the sleep with a scream, it made him laugh to the point that all the yucky, goowy, saliva soaked strawberries in his mouth were scattered all over the bed... Oh Lord... Oh Well.. It kinda looks like an Ikat design.. lol.. You gotta pick your battles.
So I have been looking for what I may want for my birthday, since my husband is not too skilled at picking the right gift.... he is however PHENOMENAL with words and cards... Personally, the best gift is from my kids... Something they have created, but since I am also the girl who loves to be surrounded by pretty things and I still haven't gotten those wood floors that I so desperately want but can't afford throughout the entire house, I will settle for accessories this year.  I typically email him a list of a couple items from different companies and ask him to pick one or two items, so it will definitely be something I like but the surprise will be with what he choses..

Alexander Mc. Queen has items on SALE?!?!?!?! .....

Wowwww...... How can a piece so morbid be so cute?!?!?!?!

...which brings me to this....

Alexander McQueen is dead... This lad made skulls look so Funky and Fierce but he ended up taking his own life.. here I am looking at those pieces to wear but for some strange reason it may end up being more appropriate to be worn if I don't do something that is long over due...

....I have not been to the OBGYN ever since I gave birth two years ago... I have figured out that my fear is not finding out whether I may or may not have cervical cancer, but who the hell is going to care for my kids if I were to ever have to receive treatment for any ailment whatsoever...

I recently received a lecture from a friend who was so surprised to find out that I have never been to a spa for a massage and told me to tell my husband that if I don't get one before my birthday, he will have to answer to her... So for my birthday this year, I think the best gift that I could ask for are two gift certificates... One is for "Time" so I could finally receive a full body massage, since I heard thatit is life changing.... sigh.... and the other is for "Pap Smear"..... crickets......... Yup a bloody pap smear....could end up being the worst birthday gift or the best birthday gift but for sure the most important birthday gift....Fun Fun Fun (rolling my eyes).... I see symbolisms in everything and what is eerie about the above pieces from Alexander Mc. Queen is that they all are so "beautiful" with symbols of "death" on them just like so many of us "beautiful" women who may be wearing them everyday who may be plaqued with a silent "death" inside us..... I would rather wear the Boo!!! than have my family Boo-Hoo!!
                                   
                      Please ladies, get your regular Pap Smear....


                                                              
                 

Love-arella..Pretty-rella.... BAKERELLA...

It's the time of the year where I am already looking for the boys' school attire for Fall semester.. Well actually I have already purchased their shirts and they were delivered on Saturday.. Yippie... So left are pants, socks, shoes and undies. This has to be taken care of before school ends for Summer as it is impossible to do anything but care for the boys. Thankfully, I was so happy to learn that there is a Summer Camp for kids with disabilities where I am considering sending Dylan. Brandon isn't quite emotionally ready yet so he will be home with me and Logan.. As of now, the chains in my head are still moving and hopefully God will help me decide what will be the best decision..                                                                  BUTTTTTTTT
When I think of Summer, I also think of birthdays and with birthdays come birthday parties.... so I am now on the quest to figure out what I will do this year. I have two birthdays that will fall during the Summer, one is right behind and another two that are one day apart... Ouchhh...    I have been surfing and researching and that is when I came across the most delectable little treats EVER and perhaps one of the best talents. I wonder whether she made those treats from my post Too Cute to Eat ? Nevertheless, hope your sweet tooth is flossed and your cutesy machine is powered up... Even Grumpies will smile..

I have Confidence.......

Wasn't it a marvelous day today? If you are not in Florida, I hope you  had and equally beautiful day...It was 80 Plus degrees outside.. There was a beautiful breeze... Not one tantrum with any of the kids and Logi Bear dunked his first basketball..
          
                  It's Spring.... It's Spring .... It's ..... Stillll..... Springggggggg!!!!!!! ( COUGH COUGH)


So I asked my husband to do a photo shoot of me in my Spring (Dun Dun ) Dress... I told him that I would be twirling so he could capture some LOVELY ORGANIC PHOTOS... You know how celebrities have the lighting, fan, water, and music playing in the background... Well... I was on a 25 cent budget so I had to sing " The Hills are Alive" in my head to get me in the mood... Now those of you who know me know that The Sound of Music is one of my favortie movies of all time..... So....Mother Mercy...  Here is how it came out..... Hope you have a laugh at my expense.    Uhhh Uhhhmmm

What will this day be like? I wonder.

What will my future be? I wonder.

It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be freeeeeeee

My heart should be wildly rejoicing

Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure

To do the things I've never dared

And here I'm facing adventure

Then why am I so scared

A captain with seven children ( I have 3)
What's so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certainEverything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in 

MMMMMe!!!!!

Soooooo....... what do you think?...... Will Vogue give me a call?........ Uhhhh.... Maybe I could get coffee for Anna Wontour?.... Right?....... (Crickets.... Crickets... Flies.....) 

Ohhhh... Kayyyyy... Hey I felt pretty... shucks... hehehehe

My Bitter Sweet Symphony....

    When I came up with the idea of having a Baby Week here on my blog I had envisioned beautiful, organized fun posts everyday but it has now turned into an emotional journey for me which is not as fun anymore. The mistake I made was to incorporate my personal journey which has been very treacherous into my posts and viewing all those photos of yesteryear brings a flood of mixed emotions..

 As many of you know, this blog started off because I wanted to get out of my sometimes stagnant role of being JUST a mom and finally taking care of myself, indulging in things that I like, but strangely enough, it always come back to being a mom... What can I say? It truly is a significant part of my life.. I have learned to live my life as authentic as I possibly can and that sometimes means taking a halt when I feel like things may be a little off balance, regrouping then returning...

I am also going through the "self healing' process of freeing from self blame of autism and because I am feeling so much better about our situation with our boys, I have also found myself trying to push too hard and too fast as if I was told a secret that the world was coming to an end by the end of this year. However, what I fail to understand is that 8 years of sadness can not be over come in one year.. I have to slow down, be less of a "Mary Katherine Gallagher" and more of a "Maya Angelou"...(hope you caught that analogy) ...hehehe.. So occasionally I may take little breaks from the baby depot and speak of other cool stuff then return to the baby talk.....Please be patient with me....Hey.. it should quite frankly take nine months to finish "Baby Week" ..right..hahaha.. Ok.. now that I have gotten this off my chest, I could proceed....

                                                      
                                                                  OK

GASP!!!! I can't believe I forgot to mention this.... one of the first things that you should do after you have confirmed you are pregnant and given a possible due date by your doctor, the minute you get home and the shock begins to wear out, you should create an account on one or if you have OCD all of those websites like I did.. :-)

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The Shower without Water....

... I have never had a baby shower... Never ....ever..... It's either no one loved me or perhaps were intimidated by how picky I am when it comes to what I buy for myself, kids or how hard it is to surprise me because I am nosey and always want to know "why"(you could ask my poor husband).. Like Oprah, I hate surprises but love surprising people....So when it came time to shop for my first, I had pages and pages and magazines and magazines of STUFF... I went crazy.. he had to have the best... best stroller, best car seat, best diaper bag.. best clothes... best bottles etc..
But before I get to the list of my favorite baby items of all times. One thing I think I am fairly o.k at is throwing a party.... under my circumstances with my children, I think I do a decent job at decorating and setting up, so I would love to show you some ideas and photos of the most beautiful baby showers ever. Whether you are throwing your own shower of perhaps you are going to throw one for someone, you could gather some inspiration from the proceedings...

GEEEESSSS!!!!!!... I think I have morning sickness after creating this post..... My tummy is fluttery at all those "pweety" shower themes... I need to do this for a living... Hope you enjoyed..:-)

Photos are courtesy Project Nursery

                                  The Tomkat Studio

Project Nursery